Tony

3 AM, the sky’s still black
Tired, lifeless, laying in the sack
Look to the ceiling, bland and white
Gun in my hands, I feel no fright

I grip it tightly, and shut my eyes
No longer will I believe my lies
Barrel to my mouth, it tastes real bad
Mind’s full of stress, I’m going mad

My saliva bleeds the metallic taste
Hurry now, do it
No time to waste
Soon, in blood, my body will marinate
Finger to the trigger, don’t hesitate

DO IT

DO IT

But then my dog wakes,
His head above the covers
I’ve made a mistake.

He travels from the foot of my bed
Cautiously stepping in the darkness;
His little warm sighs against my head,
My heart suddenly void of sharpness.

He doesn’t settle, and licks my cheek
Softly, gently, my eyes start to leak;
Had he known I’ve been this weak?

He doesn’t stop, despite my pleas
Refusing until I’m at ease;
I’ve no chance, I have to agree.

I put the gun down
And he finally goes to sleep;
3 AM is no time to weep.

A Child’s Adoration

The way your mouth curls,
The way your eyes spark,
The way your laugh cries;
It’s very, very charming.

The way your hair curls,
The way your shirt’s tucked,
The way your shoes shuffle;
It’s very, very charming.

Your voice is not loud,
But isn’t too deep;
The way you work hard,
Make these feelings hard to keep.

How I wish these thoughts
Could be something more
Is also but an
Impossible feat;

The distance from here
To where you may stand;
Is much too far
To make any demand.

It’s fine from this place
Because I can see,
How your very self
Is very, very charming.

Friendship to a Shy Maiden

If you were my friend,
Would we stay up just talking?
Play games and make jokes,
Together?

If you were my friend,
Would we have matching t-shirts?
The same favorite desserts?
Same hobbies?

If you were my friend,
Would we support each other?
Through thick and thin, no
Matter what?

If you were my friend,
Would we calm down our worries?
Cry on our shoulders
When we’re down?

I wouldn’t quite know,
I think you’re just amazing;
A little too grand.
My envy.

You’re exceptional,
While I’m struggling through life
Just making ends meet.
You’re too good.

You’re out of my reach,
No matter how much I wish
This gap between us
Was smaller.

You do not know me,
And I can’t say I know you.
We’re only classmates,
Us two kids.

But what I hold dear
Is my fictitious friendship
Between you and I
Together.

Remembering a Hero

I remember the days I’ve adored you above all else.

Holding our horns above,
Screaming at the top of our lungs,
Making jokes we’d understand;
That kind of puppy love.

Those days are days I’ve treasured,
No matter how far they seem;
Although I’ve never met her,
Those days are only a dream.

It’s been two years since you’ve last met me;
I wonder if you still remember?

I whistled a tune
The both of us shared those days;
He who made me swoon
The hero who showered praise.

Callous Calem

“Won’t you stay awhile?”
She said to me doubtfully;
It were her first words
She ever told me.

I turned to her gaze,
And was greeted with a smile.
“It’s a little cold,”
She said, “Want to talk?”

I had time to spare,
And so I replied, “alright.”
I trudged over snow
And stood by her side.

“I’ve seen you working,”
She started, “You work real hard.”
“Thanks, but,” I replied,
“I can’t say the same.”

“You’re much too modest!”
She said as she slapped my back.
“I see you take pride
in working so hard!”

“Excuse me,” I said,
“I wasn’t talking about
My work ethic, miss,
it was about yours.”

Her face was puzzled.
It seems she can’t comprehend
I thought she was bad.
I turned to face her.
“Your work ethic sucks.”

To My Dear

My Dear:
It is the first day
Of this cooling season of
Fall; I still wait here
In the park where we played catch
As young children with
No worries or fear.

My Dear:
It is the fourth day
Of this dainty season of
Spring; I still wonder
If you still remember me.
I hope it is soon
When you can greet me.

My Dear:
It is the third day
Of this warming season of
Summer; I overheard
That you were somewhere far from
This small park of ours.
I hope you’re happy.

My Dear:
It is the first day
Of this freezing season of
Winter; I know well
That it is quite hard for you
To come back to me,
So I’ll go to you.

My Dear:
It is the fourth day
Of this cooling season of
Fall; I’ve finally
Found you, but why are you here?
Although you have aged,
You’re still beautiful.

My Dear:
It is the third day
Of this dainty season of
Spring; I’m so happy
You can see me by your side.
Finally, we are
Together at last.

A Witty Kind of Man

He’s the kind of man
Who wouldn’t buy flowers
The kind of man
Who wouldn’t buy rings

He’s the kind of man
Who’d laugh at your dress
The kind of man
Who’d laugh at your faults

He’s the kind of man
Who hates your cooking
The kind of man
Who hates your whining

But in the end

He’s the kind of man
Who’d rather cook for you
Than risk you burning fingers

The kind of man
Who’d rather hear
The sound of you
Blissfully talking

He’s the kind of man
Who’d prefer the look
Of a girl in sweats

The kind of man
Who makes your wrongs
Seem like nothing
To your perfection

He’s the kind of man
Who’d buy plastic roses
So they’d last forever

The kind of man
Who’d buy one ring
A gold band
On your wedding

A High School Crush

Time has passed quickly,
And my feelings have faded–
But what’s leftover
Are fond memories of you.

I remember when
We first met in that classroom
When you had saved me
When I couldn’t stop crying.

I remember when
My wish had really come true
And you had appeared
As if I called out your name.

I remember when
We were together at dusk
For a school event;
How we laughed and played till night.

I remember when
I’d suffer sadness and pain
You would place your hand
On my head to assure me.

I remember when
You chose us over the leech
Who made fun of me
And hurt me when I was sad

I remember when
We made silly promises
Others wouldn’t get–
Just little things between us.

I remember when
I understood I wasn’t
A person you’d like
In the way I had loved you.

I remember how
I felt isolated from
Your slow, fading warmth
When I began to break down.

I remember how
I finally said goodbye
To you, my sunshine
And stayed in a land of ice.

I remember how
The moment you stopped talking
Was just like being
On this cold, freezing tundra.

I wanted to say
That I am doing well now.
I was able to
Melt the ice upon this land

I was able to
Have a sun that would warm me
And dry up some of
The tears that raced down my face

But I won’t forget
The particular ray that
Warmed my lonely heart
During my last high school days.

Mister Miller is a Killer

Waiting for a thought to come
that little glimmer of hope;
Waiting for a good outcome
of a new way to cope;
Waiting for me to become
Someone not binded with rope;
Sadly, I have not succumb’d
And therefore, I have to mope;

Little girl, astray from home
Why must you go out and roam?

Get away from there, small child
Why have you become so wiled?

It’s dangerous, please, go back
See, now he’s caught your knapsack!

Oh, what kind of game is this?
How can I stand here and dismiss?

I must save this little girl
Who’s bag is stuck in his burl

But oh, my legs have frozen
Is this the path I’ve chosen?

To be a filthy coward
And watch this scene be soured?

It’s too late, he snapped her neck
This child has become a wreck

I have watched it all play out
Then suddenly I’ve been clout

Called a murderer, a killer
“Watch out for Mister Miller”

And so I stand upon this chair
Thinking if this all was fair

To watch her die before me

I’ve waited too long to see

Waiting for a thought to come
that little glimmer of hope;
Waiting for a good outcome
of a new way to cope;
Waiting for me to become
Someone not binded with rope;
Sadly, I have not succumb’d
And now hang with this old rope.

Leaving Hero

Hide me, please
Put me somewhere
I’m afraid of the dark
Hear it’s disastrous bark

It’s full of monsters
Such a dangerous hue

But oh, you’re here!
You’ll save me, right?
Such dark, lonely nights
Have pained me with fright!

Where did you go?
They’re getting close

Revealing themselves,
Those arrogant foes

They know I’m scared
They know I’ll cry

But only you would
Believe their lies